Once a hawk sat on my windowsill
asking me to go away into the wild.
I said I couldn’t because I loved her.
Couldn’t leave her
Even for the call of the wild.
The curves I embraced
the smile I adored
the hair I liked to wrap my fingers around
steel in her spine
but soft as a flower.
Fifteen years of love.
Now she says she cares for me
All lost in that one phrase
“I care for you.”
meaning nothing and everything
I loved her so much that I abandoned my future children
I loved her so much that I cut off my mother’s heart by cutting her off
I loved her so much that I turned a blind eye to her wandering eye
and now she says she cares for me.
And as usual, I am giving in and giving her what she wants
Freedom, adventure and exploration
I should have gone with the hawk
A long, long time ago.