Hornet’s Nest – A Rebuttal

A good writer observes and uses (steals) material from her world. My recent poem, Hornet’s Nest, was one such effort. 

It was my love who got bitten by the hornets and not me.  He agreed that the first part of my depiction was a fair portrayal but wanted to change the ending. It is fair that I publish the alternate ending he proposed.

I feel avenged
Not a twinge of guilt
For without their queen
They will die an agonizing death

My ending went like this:

“I should feel avenged

but a twinge of guilt instead

They need to build a new home.”

We shared both versions with a nephew who was once chased by hornets. His response was,

“Yes, yes, and yes!!! The only realistic thing in Latha’s story was the fuck fuck fuck part. But you’re ending is spot on. Those little f#$kers have it coming and deserve to die a slow death.” LOL

PS: Wait till I start writing about my mother. Rebuttals will be full length books!

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Creative Writing, How to kill a hornet, Poetry and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Hornet’s Nest – A Rebuttal

  1. I enjoyed them both and love this interactive concept. Some of the best poetry and drama is not as much a collaboration as a conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s